Bye Bye Prius

Yesterday was a bit of a bittersweet day as we finally said goodbye to our beloved Prius. It gave us over 67,000 miles without once breaking down on us or needing any work whatsoever other than regular maintenance and a new set of tires. It was also our first new car. Yep, for four and a half years it was pretty much perfect for us.

Thus, it was sad to see it go but it was just time. The catalyst was a few weeks ago when Christy went out looking at double-strollers and realized that none of them would fit in the back. That led to a realization of just how often we have used the space in the backseat next to Anabelle for cargo, space which is of course now permanently occupied by Charlotte. We tried to see if Charlotte would be open to having the occasional grocery bag or box of litter on her lap but found her surprisingly unreceptive (such a prima donna). And then I just started imagining a day not too far off in the future when my wife would call me from the Sam's Club parking lot in hysterics because she bought too much stuff and has no room for it and Charlotte and Anabelle are both screaming and now she has to try to drive home with a bag of cat food in her lap and rolls of toilet paper strapped to the roof.

Incidentally, I was relaying this concern of mine to a co-worker (who also has two kids) when he informed me that a few years ago they went to Costco and bought so much that they ran out of space and he and the kids had to walk home while his wife drove the car. They live less than a mile away so it wasn't too bad, but still. As you can imagine, now every time he pulls up to Costco with them he gets to hear "are we gonna have to walk home again dad?" Can you put a price on that? More to the point, can you put a price on avoiding that?

So we definitely needed to get something bigger. We toyed with the idea of keeping the Prius and maybe just getting a big, cheap, used 2nd car that we'd only use for big shops and long road trips. But we had to face the fact that at 67,000+ miles the Prius was not going to last forever and this was probably our last chance to trade it in and still get decent value for it.

My first choice was to get one of the smaller SUVs but we took a look at a Rav4 and, even though we liked it, didn't feel like it offered all that much more storage space for the money (especially considering the dramatic reduction in fuel efficiency). Plus Christy really wanted a 3rd row of seats, something that I didn't view as absolutely essential but that would be nice to have. Trouble is that most vehicles offering a 3rd row are either extremely expensive ($35k+), extreme gas guzzlers (less then 20 MPG), or both. Christy was also adamant that she did not want a minivan.

So we pretty much needed a new car for less than $25k that averaged aroun 25 MPG, had a 3rd row of seats, and that wasn't a minivan. Does anything like that exist? The answer is yes, sort of. There's pretty much one (and only one) option - the Mazda5, so that's what we got. The "sort-of" part about it is that, yes, it is technically a minivan. It's actually a "mini-minivan" that is low to the ground and looks and drives like a wagon, but has the sliding doors and folding seats that are hallmarks of the minivan. At first glance, most people would not think of it as a minivan (which is of course the point) but once you look at it for a while it slowly morphs into one.

Thus, I suppose the transition into suburban parenthood is now complete. I would be more upset about the final death blow to my coolness except that I had very very little coolness to begin with. Still, it's a strange experience because until now I have always been very excited to buy my next car, secure in the knowledge that what I was getting was much better (in at least some ways) than what I was giving up. Not the case here. The best I can say is that we didn't give up much - we have almost all the same features but gave up a lot of fuel efficiency and a paid-off car in exchange for more space, a sunroof, and 60 months of payments (albeit fairly low payments). Ah yes, the joy and excitement of responsibility and compromise. Woo hoo!

Anybody Seen February Anywhere?

It seems like I lost it. Just don't know where it went. Oh well, I'm sure it will turn up somewhere.

So . . . since last I blogged my family grew by exactly one-third. How many times do you get to say that? Just once, I think. Well, unless we decide to have 5 more kids and then have triplets, but I'd classify that as somewhat less than likely so we won't worry about that for now.

Charlotte was born exactly 2 weeks ago today. She was much more considerate than her sister in that she sent Christy into labor at 6:00 A.M. as opposed to 12:30 A.M., so everyone in the house was at least moderately well-rested. Christy and Charlotte came home that Sunday and we have been busy adjusting to the "new normal" ever since.

They say that with a 2nd child the one thing you're not supposed to do is make comparisons to the first. I say that if you happen to be an actual human, on this planet, occupying this particular plane of reality, it's inevitable.

Here's what's the same. First, no matter how prepared you are, when you hear your wife say "I think my water just broke" it still seems sudden and unexpected. I don't know how many kids you'd have to have before the whole experience of running around and getting ready to leave, getting to and checking into the hospital, and going through the whole labor and delivery process seems routine. It's a lot more than 2 though. Maybe once you get into Duggar territory. It definitely was less hectic and anxiety-inducing than last time, but only incrementally so. Secondly, the moment you see your child for the first time is just as amazing. The phenomenon of seeing someone for the first time but literally in an instant being struck with such an intense feeling of love and a fierce desire to protect them is just as overwhelming the 2nd time as it is the first.

What's different? Well, pretty much everything else. For one thing, there is an expression that "once something is known it cannot be unknown." In other words, in some instances naivety and ignorance are a blessing. Leading up to Anabelle, I knew that it would be a challenge and that there would be sleepless nights but it all just seemed so surreal and mysterious that I really had no solid conception of what our life would be like with a newborn. That is no longer the case with Charlotte. I remember exactly what it felt like to hold a tiny little creature in my hands who screamed at me for 2 hours straight with complete and utter disregard to the 100 things I did to try to placate her and I knew that at some point in the next couple months that was going to happen again, probably multiple times. I also found myself pretty much assuming that all of the difficulties we had with Anabelle would be repeated, while also being convinced that everything that was easy and went well with her will not happen again. And this is not imagined in some vague, hypothetical scenario - now that I have had some real world experience to draw from, I can vividly picture it. I don't mean to indicate that I live in a constant state of mortal terror, just that I no longer have the luxury of being clueless. In reality, so far I'd actually say that Charlotte's habits and temperament have been remarkably similar to Anabelle's.

Then there is the matter of attention to detail. With Anabelle I found myself obsessed with her every move and facial expression. Was she looking at me? Was she trying to grab that toy? Did she see the cat and does she realize what it is? Was that a smile or just gas? I read all my daddy books to find out when to expect the myriad of milestones (rolling over, crawling, etc) and then always silently but consistently marked her progress against the "norms". It is only in hindsight that I realized that it wasn't till somewhere in the 3-6 month range that Anabelle's personality really began to emerge and that, well, that's pretty much the case with all babies. So with Charlotte I just find myself being a lot more patient about this whole process. I realize that right now her body is busy developing, um, pretty much everything, and that what we are mainly seeing at this point are reflex actions. Soon enough all of those reflexes will be replaced by deliberate thoughts and actions and we'll really get to meet her.

From a logistical standpoint, it certainly is crazier with two (and through 2 weeks neither Christy or I have spent more than a couple hours alone with both Anabelle and Charlotte) but somehow there is just something much more clarifying about it. With Anabelle, I find that we got ourselves in trouble a lot easier. By this I mean that we'd get Anabelle to sleep and then we'd both go about doing our normal activities (i.e. watching TV, playing video games, shopping, etc). So then Anabelle would decide to have one of her bad, stay-up-all-night episodes and neither one of us would be in any condition to handle it. Now, with very few exceptions, when Anabelle is asleep (whether it's a nap or for the night) then either Christy or I need to be asleep too. Period. Otherwise we're just setting ourselves up for disaster. We also just completely accepted the fact that until probably the one-month mark we will never be sleeping in our bed at the same time.

Overall, I think that we have been adjusting pretty well. It's certainly more of a challenge with two kids, but it's not twice as hard. By comparison, going from 0 to 1 is the one that's twice as hard.

Or maybe it just means that my wife is doing all the work this time . . .